March 26, 2024
 
Dear Grandchildren:
 
Today I want to ask you a question about marriage. Why do we have only a 50% chance of having a successful marriage? (And that includes those who call themselves Christians.) I’d like to offer my opinion on the subject.
 
The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, said. “But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems” (1 Corinthians 7:28 NLT).
 
Wow! That’s some unbelievable bad news, but he’s so right. Let me explain.
 
Thirty years ago when I was doing motivational talks, I had everyone write their full name on a piece of paper and then put Inc. after it. Dennis Wayne Freeman, Inc. What this tells us is: you are totally responsible for you. You’re the captain of your life, especially as an adult. You have the greatest power at your disposal, and you have a choice to be in charge of you.
 
Yes, you will decide to motivate yourself, and you will decide what kind of person you will be. You will decide what your work ethic will be, and you will be responsible to make all the decisions for you, Inc.
 
Then one day you fell in love and met another you, Inc. And both of you later decided to get married. What happen is: you two you’s became a we. During the dating process you enjoyed learning about this other you, even though they had different ideas and opinions about life. And at the wedding party, it was all wonderful about hearing the words, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health. Those words sounded so wonderful because we were becoming “one”. We were becoming a we couple.
 
Little did we realize our differences would bring tensions and problems because we were uniquely different people. Two you’s don’t automatically make a we couple. We have to learn to communicate our opinions and listen to the other you. We have to learn to resolve our differences by talking and listening to one another.
 
Then you add bringing children into the world-more little you’s with their little opinions trying to understand how to navigate in the game of life. If this sounds complicated, probably because it is. This is when people start to get confused and just give up. They get overwhelmed, stop communicating, and then stop resolving tensions, and just give up.
 
Fifty-three years ago, that’s where your grandma and I were. We were each doing our thing in our marriage. We were both trying to be a we couple, but we were living for ourselves, especially yours truly. Fifty-three years ago, we turned our lives over to the Savior of the world, Jesus! He not only saved us and placed us in his family, but he saved us from ourselves and he saved our marriage.
 
We’ve been married over sixty years, and we are still trying to let Jesus help us be a we couple. We still have tensions and problems, but he is faithful especially when we are faithful to allow him to lead us. The bottom line is: we need to be the best version of a you can be. We are all captains of our choices. But the more we allow Jesus to be a part of those choices, the better it will be for you personally and for your marriage.
 
Always remember how much I love you,
 
Grandpa

Image by StarFlames from Pixabay