May 26, 2022
Dear Grandchildren:
Working with Devin and Ryley on their wedding ceremony is reminding me of all my pre-marital counseling sessions. My goal is to prepare couples for life after their wedding and honeymoon.
In the Bible, Paul addressed marriage in this way: “But those who marry will face many troubles in this life…” 1 Corinthians 7:28B NIV.
Reading his statement, I ask myself this question: “Why can we expect some trouble?”
When I marry a couple, during the ceremony, I usually say, “For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for in sickness and in health.” This statement implies what the future may entail.
When difficult times hit, many married couples say, “We went into the marriage expecting to be so happy.”
And you might be saying, “Isn’t the pursuit of happiness a good goal for our relationship?”
God does want men and women to be happy in marriage. That is part of why He created it. As the Lord declares throughout Scripture, He loves us and wants us to be full of joy.
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” John 15:10-12 NIV.
But that’s not the entire story. Marital happiness is only one aspect of God’s bigger picture for this important relationship. God wants us to experience not only the fullness of joy in Him but also the fullness of life through His gifts such as marriage.
But happiness isn’t the only meaningful aspect of life. How about things like relationships, family, caring, compassion, creativity, learning, growing, commitment, devotion, hope, vision, sacrifice, and purpose?
Instead of seeing your partner as the primary source of happiness in marriage, I want you to take a fresh look and see your partner as something better—something more. On one level, your spouse is your journeying partner, walking alongside you, supporting you as you confront life’s issues and challenges.
As two of God’s intentionally designed children, your lives were created intentionally with a purpose. Once married, your spouse is your life partner, working with you to create and build beautiful and significant things.
One of the main reasons God created marriage was so you could experience a deep, meaningful friendship with your primary journeying partner. Your marriage is a vehicle to share moments of joy, passion, and pleasure that could be empty if you were alone.
The gift is also a vehicle to share moments of sadness and sorrow that might crush you if you faced them alone (without a strong community). Marriage provides the ideal stimulus for personal growth as you become more fully the man and woman God created you to be.
Simply put, you and your spouse have an opportunity to walk in unity and purpose to experience the deepest form of friendship and love there is.
This is exactly how I see and feel as I journey through life with your grandmother. We have become an “us” team.
Always remember how much I love you,
Grandpa