April 26, 2021

Dear Grandchildren:

As I write this letter, we are planning a Love and Respect workshop for couples in our church. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is the author of the course, and I believe he is right on.

You may remember the Beetle’s song, ”All You Need is Love;” Dr Eggerichs disagrees with that conclusion. Five out of ten marriages today end in divorce because love alone is not enough. Yes, love is vital, especially for the wife, but what we have missed is the husband’s need for respect.

They interviewed 2,000 couples concerning their marriage and came up with an incredible discovery: 82% of the husbands felt disrespected by their wives, and 72% of the wives felt unloved by their husbands. Isn’t that amazing?

Women often think, “How can I get my husband to love me as much as I love him?” Wives often cry to the husband, “I need your love,” but what he hears is, “I don’t respect you.” Women often think, How can he be so insensitive?

When a man feels his wife no longer looks up to him but looks down at him, the crazy cycle begins. The cycle often starts when a wife scolds her husband- like a mother scolds her child-and that behavior is very disrespectful to the husband. He doesn’t see his wife’s heart; he only hears her words.

When a husband receives unconditional respect from his wife, these fond feelings of affection will return, and he will start giving her the unconditional love she has always hoped to receive.

I asked a businessman a very personal question, “Do you want your employees to love or respect you?” I’m sure you know his answer. A man’s need for respect is like a woman’s need for love.

In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” What this passage is saying is, love and respect are primary needs.

Many times, the “tone” of your conversation is the real issue. We communicate through our words (7%), body language (38%), and tone (55%), so your tone communicates the actual message. Are you communicating love and respect to the other person?

Think about it, Grandchildren. When we love and respect each other as Christ instructed, our children will receive the benefit of godly examples before their very eyes. They see a wife respect her husband, and the husband love his wife, and that preaches! Yes, our children pay more attention to what we do than what we say.

Always remember how much I love and respect each one of you,

Grandpa

Featured Image by Mohamed Chermiti from Pixabay