| December 26, 2019 Dear Grandchildren: Years ago, I was a Little League coach to all of my kids when they played baseball or softball during the summers. One season, one of the kids (not mine) around ten years old couldn’t hit the ball. After every strikeout, he’d cry and everyone on our team would encourage him to keep on trying. On our last game of the season, it was the last inning and bases were loaded. This young boy was at bat. He hit his first base hit to right field and we won the game! Regarding encouragement, it couldn’t have been a better ending or better story for our team and this young boy. Grandchildren, as you raise your children, realize you’re the doorway for them to be secure in themselves. In other words, your child was meant to head out into the world each day “knowing” he or she is unique and special. No one’s opinion of them matters as much as Mom’s or Dad’s. It doesn’t take long for children to define themselves based on what’s wrong with them. I have a big nose, funny hair, too short, or stink at sports. The negative recorder start early and head into adulthood.As a parent, how can you help meet your child’s need for a secure self? The answers come through life- building messages you sow in your child’s mind. In other words, emphasize your child’s strengths. Think about it. As parents, you got exactly the one-of-a-kind person God created and entrusted to “you”. Your job as parents is to hold up a mirror and let your children see the strengths God gave them and not try to hammer into them the strengths you think they should have. Andrew Carnegie was once asked how he found such great people to work in his steel company. He said, “You look for people like you look for gold. You look for the gold not the dirt. In people you look for the good not the bad.”When Mom or Dad says, “I love this about you.” Or, “This is something very special in you.” You can be sure the young recorder is running. Making the most out of your child’s strengths builds a more secure self and helps you to be involved in their process. Cheerleaders! That’s what parents are supposed to be for their kids. Yes, every parent can be a cheerleader in the sense of being your child’s chief encourager. Cheering for those strengths, a child may minimize or miss. Invest in whatever tools your child has been given! Think about this. When we as parents compare our kids with anyone else, we’re telling them, “No, you’re not unique.” It’s bad enough when a child does the comparing, but it’s devastating when a parent does it. It comes out in statements such as, “Why can’t you be like your brother?” Our ability is a gift from God. A parent’s privilege and responsibility are to help a child unwrap the gift, appreciate the gift, develop the gift, and use the gift for the glory of God.In Psalm 139:13, King David said that it’s at conception when God knit us together and created our innermost being. Wow! You’re a masterpiece, my son and my daughter! God only creates masterpieces! That sense of value is something more than self-worth. It’s God-worth firmly rooted in our creator, not in us. What a message we have for our kids. We get to tell them who they really are: one-of-a-kind, handmade by God, original. That sense of worth goes right to a child’s throbbing heart. Your child will never have to accept cheap substitutes or play the please-everybody game.If you’re committed to celebrating your child’s positive qualities and abilities then you’re ready to help your son or daughter live a masterpiece life. They should settle for nothing less. After all, they are signed by the artist. My only regret is that I wish I had realized these principles when we were raising your parents. But I can’t go back. By the way, I believe your parents did a wonderful job with you.Until next month, Love, Grandpa P.S. This message of encouragement works with everyone. Last Saturday evening, Grandma and I were enjoying dinner at a restaurant in The Villages. We had a waiter give us excellent service. So we called his manager over and praised him. Afterwards, the waiter told us he really appreciated those comments. |
FARMERD
Leadership, advice, and musings from Farmer Denny
