Dear Grandchildren,
Wow! Another year is upon us. Thank you Katie for helping me last month. To start the year off, we are blessed with Sarah Soon writing this month’s newsletter and her topic is expectations. Thank you, Sarah.
Peyton Manning’s time with the Broncos has proved fairly successful, perhaps exceeding his expectations.
- Two playoff appearances including the SuperBowl.
- Record seasons for passing yards and touchdowns
Yet, the events leading him to play for the Denver Broncos put him on an unexpected roller coaster ride.
In 1998, the Indianapolis Colts selected Peyton Manning as their #1 draft pick. He played for the Colts for fourteen years, leading them to ten playoffs and two Superbowl appearances including their 2006 victory. I’m sure he expected to play there until he retired.
Until 2012. After sitting out for a year as he recovered from a second neck surgery, the Colts released him. During a press conference, he expressed his leaving as, “…no one understands the emotions I’ve felt…very difficult.”
He had to adjust to a new franchise, new city, and new teammates. Suddenly his expectations for his career and his team had to change. Could he play well enough to be effective?
Though this experience, he had to learn how to manage his expectation of always playing as a Colt.
Really, we all need to learn how to manage our expectations. For whatever phase of life you’re in, you’re facing something new.
- Perhaps you’re going to school and deciding on a career.
- Or you’re working hard in a career and trying to reach a certain level in the company.
- Or you’re married and planning a family.
Whatever you’re facing, chances are, you have expectations for your new phase. You may even have images running through your mind of what your life will be like.
Perhaps you envision yourself receiving your diploma or running a successful company. Maybe, you picture yourself getting married or holding your first child.
But what do you do if your reality doesn’t match your expectations? Maybe your career doesn’t take off as quickly as you imagined. Or your plans for getting married and having a family haven’t happened yet.
How do you manage your expectations when they go unmet? This is an vital question to not only ask but to answer because I guarantee you’ll face unmet expectations sometime in your life if you haven’t already.
While I can’t give you a magic formula, I can at least provide a simple guideline that’s helped me to manage my expectations:
- Ask the right questions.
Often times our perspective needs an adjustment. It’s easy to get stuck on a certain idea, desire, or mode that we can’t see alternatives or even the reality of the situation.
For example, if you’re expecting to receive a raise, but haven’t received one in a year or two, perhaps you need to ask your boss or co-workers what you can do to make the company more profitable.
Often times, the most important person to ask is you. Perhaps you’re not seeing things through a clear filter, but motivated by a need such as a need for approval, validation, or love. Some questions you can ask yourself are:
- Are my expectations based on a need for validation?
- Are my expectations sacrificing my relationships or values?
- Are my expectations based on God’s expectations for my life?
2. Action.
Once you receive answers, it’s time to act on the information you’ve received. So, if your boss shares how you can improve your work, then apply his recommendations. Or if you realize that your expectations far exceed your resources, then break down your expectations into smaller steps that you can meet now. Or if you realize you’re pursuing a certain career not because it’s an interest, but mainly to receive approval from your peers, then you might want to take a step back and assess your values. Then pursue what career is on your heart, not necessarily what others want you to pursue.
Whatever action you take, realize you have the ability to make it happen. For God is always faithful to help you implement change in your life. Just ask him.
3. Appreciation
No matter what happens as you manage your expectations, it’s vital to express appreciation to the Lord, your boss, or your loved ones. Appreciate what you do have as you plan, prepare, and pray for change. Gratitude is a great attitude adjustment. It can knock out the frustrated and depressed feelings, and usher in peace and contentment. Who doesn’t want to experience that?
When a reporter at a press conference asked Manning what would be his next step after getting released from the Colts, Manning said, “Immediate thing I plan to do next is to say ‘thank you’ — thank you to so many people who have had such a big impact on my time here with the Colts…I certainly am grateful.”
As you live your life, realize that managing your expectations will help you succeed —whether it’s in your career, in your marriage, or in other relationships.
A game-changing prayer is, “God, let your expectations become my expectations.”
If you can align your expectations to God’s for your life, then you’re in for an adventure. For he promises that his ways are much higher than ours.
“God can do anything, you know–far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!” (Ephesians 3:20 MSG)
Love,
Aunt Sarah