Good morning:

Uncle Larry and I were golfing together in Florida last month. And he challenged a decision I was making during the round. Tom and Paul asked me to play from the white tees, but I said no. I said that I’d rather play from the blue tees. Of course, it was my ego (my head) being in charge. Eventually, my pride (my heart) allowed me to play from the white tees on the second nine. Thanks Larry. So I want to write about our ego and how it affects us.

1. Stop being offended:
The behavior of others doesn’t have to control you into their same kind of behavior. This will only weaken you and take you away from the Christ-centered life you desire. Christ, who is our example, was often offended but continued to live for his Father and always took the high road.

2. Let go of your need to win:
This point is very difficult for yours truly, so I’m really taking note of what I’m writing. Ego loves to divide us into winners and losers. The pursuit of winning can lead us to become more self-centered and less Christ-centered. One example is the Special Olympics which teaches us it’s all about trying and doing your best–not necessarily about always winning. Someone out there will be faster, younger, stronger, luckier, smarter, or better. And with your permission, it could give you a feeling of being worthless and insignificant.

Realize winning isn’t everything and you don’t have to be consumed by winning (are you listening, Denny?). Yes, always do your best, but don’t let it spoil or control your attitude. Let go of needing to win and agreeing that you can be a winner while losing the game. Realize that you’re not known by your winning or losing, but how you played the game and interacted with others in the contest.

3. Let go of your need to be right.
Our ego pushes us in the direction of making other people wrong. if this happens, realize that you’re probably walking away from the Christ-centered life you desire and the peace you desire in your life. Christ is your example, and he’s kind, loving, receptive, free of anger, resentment, and bitterness while putting others first.

Letting go of your need to be right is letting go of your ego. it’s also saying, “I’m not a slave to my ego or always having to be right.” When you let go of your ego, you’re able to have better relationships with others. Ask yourself this question, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be a blessing to others?”

4. Let go of your need to be superior. True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else, it’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on your own growth and stop comparing yourself with others. We are all created in God’s image, and we need to realize our intended purpose that he gave us to live out. Try not to assess others on the basis of appearance, achievements, or possessions. Feeling superior to others takes you away from the Christ- centered life you and I desire.

5. Let go of your need to have more. I know this point is more for your later years but it’s really important. The mantra of ego is more and it’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist, “That’s not enough!” You’ll find yourself in the perpetual state of striving but never arriving. In reality, you’ve already arrived and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. The Scriptures admonishes us to be content in all things. As you continue to learn the principle, then the less ego will be a controlling master of more.

6. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements.
Many believe your identity is your achievements, such as being a manager, doctor, policeman, father, or mother. We were all created by God, and we all are his children, so our identity is centered in him. He gave you life, your body, your mind, and your skills, and a world to live in. The less you brag about your achievements and the more you praise him for all things, the closer to Christ you will be. So what I’m saying? Don’t attach yourself to your achievements, but have a heart of gratitude for God allowing you to be his partner on the Earth.

7. Finally, let go of your reputation. Your reputation is not located in you; it resides in the minds of others; therefore, you have little control over it. If you speak to thirty people, you’ll have thirty different opinions. Living for Christ means listening to him and to your heart, conducting yourself based on His values, and allowing your inner voice to tell you how to live. If you’re consumed about living for others and overly concerned about what they think, then that’s your pride being out of control. If you’re a Christ- follower then follow him, grow closer to him, and allow him to be your life. He will guide you, equip you, and fill you with his power and love so you can be a blessing to others. You can take responsibility for your life and your actions while remaining open to others.

There’s an interesting book with an interesting title, What You Think of Me Is None of My Business, but I’d add that I want to serve the living Christ, whose opinion I’m really interested in.

Uncle Larry gave me his opinion on pride: “Ego is the enemy of pride. Ego can be selfish and head driven. Pride is heart and emotionally driven. I am proud of my family. I am proud of the good work I do–positive and emotionally driven. I have a big house. I have a lot of money–negative and ego driven. Pride is the emotion that benefits and embraces us with others. Ego can protect us emotionally, but it has the potential to separate us from others because ego has the tendency to make us selfish and demonstrate arrogance. So please be driven by pride (your heart), not your ego (your head). Friends will embrace pride, but ego will push them away. Your heart will always guide you in the right direction. The trick is to find the balance between your head and your heart”.

So there you have it. I know I went a little longer this month, but I needed to read this message for myself. Thanks Uncle Larry.

Until next month,

Love,
Grandpa